The Unexpected Value of A Forgotten Gift: A Journey of Rediscovery

Looking back at last year seems like a blur. I sometimes wake up wondering if 2024 even existed. The brain-body connection wasn't there, even though I know I lived through all of the trauma. Yup, sometime it just feels like I'm slowly waking up from a bad dream I had.

Last week, I had the privilege to attend a virtual series called "Plant-Based Cancer Solutions Summit", offered by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I had missed part of the summit due to it starting while we were on vacation, so I was happy that they offered to prolong the viewing a few extra days. I took two whole days watching and listening to various speakers, while doing my never-ending daily meal prep in between sessions. One speaker, Dr.Scott Stoll's session called "The Power Of Hope: How Mindset & Lifestyle Impact Cancer Recovery" really got my attention. He mentioned how important it is to keep our hope up, in order to stay healthy. Cancer affects all parts of the patient: body, spirit, emotions, and mental abilities. But these in return affect the cancer as well. Here are some points he made:

• Hope is not just a feeling—it’s a measurable, biological force that impacts immune function, inflammation, and healing

• A holistic approach—combining nutrition, movement, emotional well-being, and purpose—creates the strongest foundation for disease reversal and long-term health

• Community, compassion, and connection are essential elements of healing and long-term health transformation

Can you imagine the shock of me discovering that this is not how the treatments went that I received last year when I revisited that time! All the treatments were fear-driven and hope-killing. Yes, I did receive good care from the social worker, nurses, and radiation technicians, but not many talked about hope and the importance of it for my future well-being. When I asked the oncologist if I should follow a special diet (nutrition), I was told to eat whatever I felt like eating. I had read that exercising (movement) is good even on the bad days while undergoing treatments, so I exercised nearly daily, no matter how cruddy I felt. Looking back, I think that I exercised to feel in control of the uncontrollable changes that were happening to my body.

My emotional well-being was partially taken care of Kevin, Sidney, Cori, and other friends. But it would have been very helpful to have a therapist assigned to me, to gage how I was doing and to offer coping strategies to me. Instead, I had to rely on self-help books to not loose my mind completely and to also support my dear husband's caregiving efforts. I realize too, that of course God was with me through it all and his ever-present nearness was what really got me through! However, many days, a deep, dark hopelessness filled my thoughts. All purpose of your life gets put on the back burner when you are diagnosed with cancer and when you are going through conventional treatments. Your purpose becomes to get through all the treatments and to stay alive. My two-fold purpose last year was fear-filled: get through all the horrible prescribed treatments and to stay alive to show my gratitude to all the praying people. The purposes that brought me joy and that I am thankful for, are that I could continue to post Bible verses to friends and write on CaringBridge and on my blog.

That is where community, compassion, and connection come in! That is the one place, where hope was blooming in my life last year! I had all the many prayer warriors (community) praying for me, others delivering food, others cleaning our home, others doing yard work, and then many sending cards or money. There were several new friends that seemed to come out of the woodwork and support me in the most amazing ways. Compassion showed up in my mailbox often. One new friend would send me t-shirts and new clothes. Someone sent me earrings and a necklace with hummingbirds on (my favorite bird). I received a care package from a college classmate and another care package from dear friends who knew just what I needed. A few friends drove me to and from appointments. One friend bought me my favorite Detox Island Green Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie after many of the chemo sessions. Some of my friends came to visit and would sit and patiently listen to me and then cry and laugh with me.

My connections were made, when I was introduced to Pink Hugs - a support group for breast cancer survivors on Facebook, Faith Through Fire - a non-profit organization that offers matching you with a mentor who had a similar breast cancer diagnosis to the one you have, plus they offer a 3-month-long boot-camp for breast cancer survivors, and then of course the Square One support group on Facebook that is made up of many people who follow a mostly vegan diet. Another connection was attending the Blue Bird Cancer Retreat and being around fellow cancer survivors and caregivers. Even more connections were made when I received cards from fellow breast cancer survivors in my church family. These dear ladies shared their stories freely and supported me via visits, phone calls and texts during my treatments.

The reason I wrote this blog you are reading, has a close relationship with this community, compassion, connection theme. The Holy Spirit nudged me into writing it! Last year, I received a package sent anonymously in the mail, that contained four short Bible studies, one book on meditation, and a journal . Even though I tried to find out who the generous, compassionate sender was, I was never able to find out where this mystery package came from. So yesterday, I read a post on the Square One Support group of a lady who was sharing some quotes from a Bible study on anxiety that she was doing. The quotes really spoke to me, so I contacted the lady and asked her what the name of the study was. She graciously sent me the name of the book. The title looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place where I had seen it before. I kept guessing about it the whole afternoon. Suddenly, it hit me: it was one of those books I received in the mystery package last year! Because of the chemo brain and trauma I had last year, I could barely read my Bible, let alone do a Bible study. So I had put those books on the shelf in my bedroom, knowing I'd use them at some point. Yesterday, I immediately took those books off my shelf and looked through them. Indeed, there it was "It Is Well - Walking away from Anxiety and into God's Word". I was amazed that even though I received this book last year, it now had "arrived in time" for this moment!

You see, when I started the Faith Through Fire (FTF) Breast Cancer Survivorship boot-camp, I had to complete a GAD-7 before starting. The GAD-7 (Generalized Anxiety Disorder-7) is a screening tool used to assess the severity of anxiety symptoms. It consists of 7 items, each scored from 0 to 3, for a maximum total score of 21. Here’s how the scores break down:

• 0–4: Minimal or no anxiety

• 5–9: Mild anxiety

• 10–14: Moderate anxiety

• 15–21: Severe anxiety

FTF assesses participants both before and after the boot-camp to track changes in anxiety levels. My results are listed below:

• Pre-Bootcamp Score: 11 (Moderate anxiety)

• Post-Bootcamp Score: 1 (Minimal to no anxiety)

This reflects a 47% reduction in anxiety following the boot-camp—an incredible step forward!

The only thing that I still have some anxiety over, is the fact that the cancer could come back. That thought keeps nagging in the back of my head all the time. Now I KNOW that God does not want me to live in fear or with anxiety, so I want to work on that with him. That is why this "It Is Well" Bible study is perfect for me right now! So whoever you are who sent me this amazing study, your gift is appreciated more today than you would ever know. It is truly an unexpected treasure of a forgotten gift.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.

2 Timothy 1:7

Until next time,