The Resilience of a Blooming Orchid: Lessons on Recovery from Breast Cancer Trauma

I started noticing small changes at first. My bouts of exercise became longer without having to take a nap, I was able to do a few more activities throughout the day, I could remember small things, and the brain fog was getting less. The anxiety I had previously experienced when I was around people started lessening, I was able to independently drive to appointments, I started to experience laughter without holding back. But these changes happened in such minute steps, that it took me a long time to even notice that there was a change.

After all treatments for my breast cancer were completed in February, I discovered Chris Wark and his book Chris Beat Cancer. Reading his book and completing his 10 modules brought about the first huge change for me: I became a vegan in 2 weeks! I never imagined that it would be as challenging as it turned out to be. But within weeks of changing over to an all-vegan diet, I started feeling a lot better physically. I also started really tasting the nuances of raw and fresh foods on a level I had never experienced before. My next step was to take a vegan cooking class, which I found and completed with Evita Ochel as instructor, on Udemy.

Next up, came a huge overhaul for my medical needs. I have developed an adversity to traditional protocol-based medicine since dealing with my breast cancer diagnosis. So I decided after much prayer and searching to find a functional doctor who could help me on my continued journey of survivorship and ultimately to help me become a thriver! The nurse practitioner I found, works with a functional doctor at Total Family Healthcare. She is a believer and a former oncology nurse. After receiving my first bloodwork results under her care, I was pleasantly surprised to find how much following a vegan diet had already helped me. She took time to carefully explain each result to me, as well as what I would have to do or which supplement I would need to take to detox and heal. More research also pointed me into the direction of giving up sugar, oil, and also become gluten free.

Preparing meals was a painstakingly difficult task in these first few months, as I was still having brain fog and fatigue. But, I took small steps and knew that things would slowly but surely get better and easier to do. It did help that I started feeling better and better physically as weeks went by. Every time I had bloodwork done, I would see the results of pushing through. This in turn motivated me to keep on working hard at staying healthy.

From April through June of this past year, my focus was to work on getting over the trauma (emotional, mental, and spiritual) of dealing with all the treatments I went through for my breast cancer. I started attending a virtual Breast Cancer Survivorship Bootcamp through Faith Through Fire in April. I always had homework to do between the sessions. It was often tough stuff I had to revisit and rehash, but I knew that it had to be done if I wanted to heal. Then in May, my husband and I attended a caregiver/patient Cancer Retreat through Bluebird Retreats. This retreat helped us both to deal with all the trauma we had experienced.

I had learned that exercising is of utmost importance when recovering from the trauma of a cancer diagnosis and the subsequent draining treatments. Working out multiple times a day became another goal for me. Working out on a rebounder became the exercise of choice for me to start off my day. This is such a great type of exercise, because it gives the lymphatic system a good workout, it helps to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, plus it helps improve the neuropathy in the feet. I have since found a YouTube channel A + K Adventures that I watch while working out on my rebounder each morning. What a joy to go visit the whole world with this young couple and their dog each day!

My husband is head coach for the Cross Country team of a private Christian School. I have helped him in the past years, but due to my breast cancer was unable to help much last year. The Cross Country season this year turned out to be especially gratifying! Even though many changes had occurred this past year that were very hard for me to cope with, I received many nudges from the Holy Spirit to attend practices and meets for two reasons: to encourage the athletes and to be my husbands' helpmate and advocate. Attending the practices and meets made me realize how much better I was doing physically. I was able to walk longer and further. But I also realized how much healing was happening emotionally, mentally and spiritually for me there! I was being hugged, I was able to socialize, I was able to have purpose.

Having a breast cancer diagnosis and healing well means to let go of many things. It's like getting a fresh start and seeing your life through new glasses. You become thankful for the smallest things and you see things like you've never seen them before. I have become eternity focused. I have become fiercely loyal to my husband. I have become more bold about my faith. I have become more quiet about people upsetting me. I have learned that God truly does heal our souls and helps us let go of unimportant issues.

I am currently in the midst of my spiritual healing, by working through the book "Fully Alive" by Susie Larson. This book has really helped me to address the spiritual trauma I experienced last year. Even though it is a 10-week study, I have taken two weeks for each chapter as I want to make sure to delve into each dark nook and cranny in my life. Since taking time to complete this study, I have experienced an increase in peace, I sleep even better, and I am able to deal with stress more swiftly. I have learned to avoid certain types of stress in a healthy way. Praise, prayer, and reciting Bible verses are my stress busters when I start having negative thought patterns.

So about that orchid mentioned in the title of this blog....Last year a dear friend dropped off a orchid she had tried to rescue and keep alive. I looked after it the best I could and it seemed to be getting better. But on a day in the midst of all the chaos and trauma of last year, when I was depressed and saw no way out of the mess I was in, I threw away all my orchids. Yup, I tossed all 4 of them into the trash. I was done growing anything, because I just felt like dying. I didn't want to see anything that was thriving and green anymore. I made sure to tie up the garbage bag and toss it outside. My dear husband rescued all the orchids secretly! He undid the garbage bag, he took each of the orchids out of the bag and then he hid them in the basement.

One day, months later, when I started feeling better and more like myself, I told my husband that I wished I had not thrown away my orchids. I missed seeing them grow and flourish. I missed waiting for them to bloom. He got this funny look on his face and told me he couldn't bare the fact that I thrown them away and that he had saved them for me! I was speechless (and hence my fierce loyalty for him).

When he brought the orchids out of their hiding place they all looked a little love-deprived and sad. But, let me tell you orchids are fighters and actually pretty hardy. They needed some TLC. They needed therapy. They needed an overhaul. They needed a new environment. They needed to heal from the trauma they had been through.

So I went to work on the little darlings. First they received a "haircut" on their roots, next up were new growing pots for them, and lastly I gave them a good fertilizer. Every Friday, I had a date with the orchids to water and fertilize them. Soon, they started to recover! They grew new leaves and they started looking happy.

Then about two months ago, I saw that two of the orchids were starting to grow stems. One of the two orchids was the rescued one I had received from my friend! Mind you, I had never seen that one bloom, so I didn't know what the flowers would look like. The other one was the mini orchid that I bought for myself one Christmas because the white flowers reminded me of my mom. It has always bloomed for me around Christmas time, except last year when it was being hidden by my husband.

Isn't it just marvelous how God worked all of this out? And that is where the two stories of my journey to recovery from trauma and the resilience of the rescued orchids coincide. Going through all the treatments last year often made me feel rejected, forgotten, hidden. I had to stay away from people to avoid getting sick while going through the treatments. God was working on trimming away my roots that were grounded in self-sufficiency and pride in that time as well. I was being repotted into good healthy soil by spending time in his Word and being alone with him often.

As I came out of the brain fog and was healing from the isolation, God put me in the environment of caring, supportive people. This happened as I met my new nurse practitioner as well as with the cross country athletes. I was exposed to new, fresh surroundings for growth by becoming a vegan, attending the boot camp and the retreat. My new "leaves" and "stems" were growing as I was working out each day and bouncing all over the world without ever leaving my home.

And then I started blooming and coming fully alive when I started healing from the spiritual side of the breast cancer. I have come full circle! I am as resilient as those rescued orchids and it's all because of God's great love for me!

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

Until next time, God bless