Revitalizing Our Souls: Attending a Cancer Survivor and Caregiver Retreat on Lake Michigan
- rubythroatpublishe
- May 22
- 7 min read
This past weekend, Kevin and I were treated to the ultimate retreat offered by Bluebird Cancer Retreat at Camp Geneva on Lake Michigan. In the course of last year, we have both suffered trauma due to my breast cancer diagnosis. As caregiver, Kevin often felt uncared for, forgotten, and misunderstood. Until this retreat, he had not been able to put these feelings into words.
We have one friend, who has walked the path as caregiver a few years ago, who went above and beyond supporting not only me, but Kevin as well. This friend often would send a card just for Kevin, bring by some chocolate, or even payed for a 5K road race for him. Besides that, I reached out to various people a few times, in hopes that my caregiver would be cared for as well. But I guess, I have come to the conclusion that only people who have been caregivers to cancer patients themselves would truly understand the utter frustration, never-ending demands, and loneliness a caregiver experiences.
When I found out about this retreat, I was so happy that it included the caregiver! I received a call in March, informing me that we had been picked to attend this retreat. The only responsibility and cost to us, was getting to the retreat. This was going to finally give Kevin a break from the vast amount of extra work of not just being the breadwinner, but also taking on all the household task I had always done. I was ecstatic! As a bonus, I was happy that I would get an escape from our home that had seemed like a prison to me for most of last year.
We arrived at Camp Geneva on Friday just after 2 pm. Just after we had found a parking spot, our car was surrounded by 3 smiling people. When we got out of the car, we were greeted and welcomed warmly. We were told that all our luggage would be unpacked and placed outside our room. When we entered the building, we were welcomed by the woman who was in charge of the weekend.
Our room was inviting and had gifts for both Kevin and me on a table. We unpacked and freshened up a little before going back to the registration desk. The volunteer there asked us if we had any special needs or requests and then we were handed a folder with the agenda for the weekend. The meeting room was set up beautifully with tables and delicious snacks. We sat down at a table and introduced ourselves to the two other couples who were already sitting at the table. As more couples filled the room (about 14 couples altogether), laughter and chatting filled the air. All of us were welcomed as a group and received some instructions for the weekend.
After this, we had time to change into more comfortable clothes, before coming back to attend a session of gentle stretching. There seemed to be no awkwardness between any of us. It felt like we had met our tribe of people! After that session, we walked to the dining hall and the variety of food available was amazing. Because I am now on a mostly plant-based diet, I had the option of delicious vegan food choices. Once we had our trays filled with all the food we wanted, the trays were taken from us and carried into the dining room by volunteers. We could choose where we wanted to sit. Soon we were surrounded by other attendees and happily chatting about where we were from and what our diagnoses were. It was amazing to feel so connected in such a short period of time!
After dinner we walked back to the meeting room and made our formal introductions. We sat in a huge circle and everyone could share as much or as little as they wanted. There were many tears, realizing how much trauma all of us had gone through, and some of the attendees were still in the midst of. The camaraderie we all felt was palpable. We were instructed to write our favorite song on a sheet of paper, and to pick two pampering activities from a long list to do on Saturday afternoon.
Lake Michigan was beckoning after this activity, so we walked to the beach. The day had started as very warm and partly sunny, but soon a wind started up and blew in some rain clouds. We ended up taking a few pictures, before quickly returning to the meeting room to avoid getting drenched. Many couples were intermingling and talking with each other, as if they had known each other for a long time. The schedule was changed from the planned bonfire and S'mores to having "A Minute To Win It" games due to the weather not playing along. Soon we were laughing at other couple's antics and having fun seemed more important to all of us than winning. Looking around, I was excited to see so many smiles and hear so much laughter!
The next morning started with a delicious breakfast, after which we were split up into two groups. One for the caregivers and one for the cancer survivors. The facilitator asked some questions and we could share if we wanted to. The most healing part of this for me, was knowing that Kevin was able to share his experience as caregiver without me present for the very first time. I knew that he would be understood, cared for, and that he could vent without worries. I was able to share some of my hurts and losses in my group and felt a deep sense of catharsis.
Next, we all gathered for a drum circle. The lady who offered this fun activity, came fully prepared with many types of drums and percussion instruments. I felt like a child again, being able to try out various instruments and rhythms. Looking around the circle, I saw delight and enjoyment on all the attendees faces. It was a magical time!
Soon we went for lunch and I got to meet the chef who was preparing the delicious vegan food. I thanked her for the many choices and asked her about some of the ingredients. She took time and explained some of the recipes to me, as she could see I really wanted to learn. After lunch, we went to the craft room, where each couple received a hand-made bird house kit. We had to build it together and then decide how we would decorate it. Every half hour the facilitator would remind us of the time, so we could attend the pampering sessions we had signed up for. I had signed up to receive a face mask and to make an aromatherapy scrub to take home. Kevin signed up for a golf cart trip around Camp Geneva and to make a scrub as well. Between doing all these activities, we were having so much fun, we lost all sense of time.
In the late afternoon, we had time to go to the beach or take a nap. We opted to take a walk on the beach seeing that we don't get to go to Lake Michigan often. It was windy, but beautiful. Then we went back to our room and Kevin took an hour nap, while I read a book.
Soon it was time for dinner, which was very yummy again. We tried to sit with different couples at each meal in order to connect and get to know them. What was amazing is that we talked about so many wonderful things at meals. We didn't have to talk about cancer, because we were all in the same boat and we all chose to share more fun life facts or stories.
After dinner, the sun appeared! I could not believe that after a dreary day, we would get a chance to see a sunset on the beach! Isn't that so like our Heavenly Father? He surprises us with so much. We ran all the way to the beach and lay on our stomachs in the sand, watching the big red/orange flame ball dip into Lake Michigan. The colors were amazing. Being surrounded by this tribe of people who understood us was perfect. Experiencing God's presence in his creation was glorious! Just WOW!
After the sun had set, we dragged our camping chairs to the bonfire and visited with some couples for a while. Kevin indulged in a S'more. The simple pleasure of smelling the fire, and hearing the laughter, and seeing the enjoyment was something special to enjoy.
Sunday morning, we had breakfast, followed by a session on how our brain handles thoughts and emotions and how all of that influences our coping with trauma. The speaker was very knowledgeable and I loved having my brain be challenged academically!
To end our retreat, we sat in the big circle again and first went around sharing one word to describe the weekend. My word was "Delight" - funny enough that is also my word of the year for 2025. As I sat in the circle listening to all the attendees share their words, I was overcome by the presence of God. I looked at each one of the attendees and it was as if God was whispering to me: "These are all people I have created and I love them each so much!"
We had a door prize drawing, and I won one of the prizes. As I was unpacking the prize, the facilitator surprised me by announcing that someone had told her that it was my birthday. The whole group spontaneously started singing "happy birthday" to me! Yet another blessing!
There was once last opportunity to share what the most precious moment of the weekend had been to us. We went around the circle one more time and everyone shared something special. Then it was time to say our good-byes and exchange our email and phone numbers. After the hugs and farewells, Kevin and I went to the beach one last time! The sunshine was wonderful.
Looking back, I am so very thankful for finding this retreat online. I am thankful that I have a supportive husband! I am thankful that I have met other couples like us! I am thankful that as a Christian, I can attend a retreat like this, and know God goes with me and loves all people he created! I am thankful that this retreat is available for the worn and weary to revitalize their souls!
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
God bless until next time,
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